{"id":3419,"date":"2019-09-30T15:25:17","date_gmt":"2019-09-30T13:25:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/btm.sk\/WP\/?p=3419"},"modified":"2019-09-30T15:25:17","modified_gmt":"2019-09-30T13:25:17","slug":"vitazne-truchlenie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/btm.sk\/WP\/2019\/09\/30\/vitazne-truchlenie\/","title":{"rendered":"V\u00cd\u0164AZN\u00c9 TR\u00daCHLENIE"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u013dudia, ktor\u00ed <\/span><\/span><\/span>spr\u00e1vne spracuj\u00fa z\u00e1rmutok<\/b>, s\u00fa potom<\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0bohat\u0161\u00ed, hlb\u0161\u00ed, soci\u00e1lne \u0161ikovnej\u0161\u00ed, empatickej\u0161\u00ed, emocion\u00e1lne odolnej\u0161\u00ed a oby\u010dajne maj\u00fa pln\u0161\u00ed poh\u013ead na \u017eivot,<\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0na hodnoty a priority \u2013 lep\u0161ie teda rozli\u0161uj\u00fa, na \u010dom naozaj z\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed a \u010do nie je podstatn\u00e9. Vieme v\u0161ak \u013eu\u010fom, ktor\u00ed pre\u017e\u00edvaj\u00fa z\u00e1rmutok zo straty bl\u00edzkeho \u010dloveka, nejako pom\u00f4c\u0165, aby svoj \u017eia\u013e dok\u00e1zali spr\u00e1vne spracova\u0165?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Ned\u00e1vno ma na jednej medzin\u00e1rodnej konferencii oslovila d\u00e1ma okolo \u0161es\u0165desiatky, \u010di by som jej pomohol s nejak\u00fdm probl\u00e9mom na notebooku. Ke\u010f mi vysvet\u013eovala probl\u00e9m, dodala: \u201e<\/span><\/span><\/span>Nem\u00e1m ten po\u010d\u00edta\u010d rada…\u201c
\n<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201ePre\u010do? Je to v\u00fdborn\u00e1 zna\u010dka,\u201c povedal som.
\n<\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201ePripom\u00edna mi man\u017eela, ktor\u00fd ned\u00e1vno zomrel… <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>Je to pre m\u0148a ve\u013emi \u0165a\u017ek\u00e9. <\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>Vyh\u00fdbam sa v\u0161etk\u00e9mu, \u010do mi ho pripom\u00edna<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>. <\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>Nechcem st\u00e1le plaka\u0165…<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201c \u2013 To u\u017e vzlykala a utierala si ve\u013ek\u00e9 slzy.
\n\u201eRozumiem, mus\u00ed by\u0165 pre V\u00e1s ve\u013emi \u0165a\u017ek\u00e9 by\u0165 teraz bez neho. M\u00e1m podobn\u00fa sk\u00fasenos\u0165. M\u00f4j otec zomrel, ke\u010f mal iba 34 rokov…“<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Pozrela sa na m\u0148a, a ke\u010f v mojich o\u010diach zbadala nadbyto\u010dn\u00fa vlhkos\u0165, vedel som, \u017ee sme sa stretli na \u00farovni empatie.
\n\u201eSmiem sa sp\u00fdta\u0165, kedy sa to stalo?\u201c <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201ePred \u0161tyrmi mesiacmi…\u201c<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>
\nZ \u010fal\u0161ieho rozhovoru som vyrozumel, \u017ee sa mali ve\u013emi radi, \u017ee boli nielen \u017eivotn\u00fdmi partnermi, ale aj najbli\u017e\u0161\u00edmi spolupracovn\u00edkmi a najhlb\u0161\u00edmi priate\u013emi…<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

V medzi\u010dase sme sa predstavili vlastn\u00fdmi menami (to je ako keby sme si u n\u00e1s potykali), a tak som si dovolil pokra\u010dova\u0165:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eRozumiem, Gina, \u017ee nechce\u0161 plaka\u0165, hlavne ke\u010f s\u00fa okolo teba \u010fal\u0161\u00ed \u013eudia. M\u00e1m v\u0161ak pre teba radu: Nesna\u017e sa popiera\u0165 svoj z\u00e1rmutok. On \u0165a aj tak dostihne… V tak\u00fdch situ\u00e1ci\u00e1ch je <\/span><\/span><\/span>spr\u00e1vne plaka\u0165<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>, ba priam <\/span><\/span><\/span>\u017eiali\u0165 a tr\u00fachli\u0165<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>! Tvoj hlbok\u00fd z\u00e1rmutok m\u00f4\u017ee trva\u0165 e\u0161te nieko\u013eko mesiacov. A potom pr\u00edde <\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00fa\u013eava<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>, pr\u00edde <\/span><\/span><\/span>\u010das pozrie\u0165 sa DOPREDU<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>. Teraz je \u010das plaka\u0165, \u010das v\u010fa\u010dne spom\u00edna\u0165 a medzit\u00fdm znova plaka\u0165. Teraz je \u010das vyrovna\u0165 sa s faktom, \u017ee tu u\u017e svojho milovan\u00e9ho Ionela nebude\u0161 ma\u0165. A ke\u010f t\u00fa stratu zdravo spracuje\u0161 \u2013 ke\u010f t\u00fa <\/span><\/span><\/span>boles\u0165 vn\u00fatorne prijme\u0161<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span> (a to \u0165a m\u00f4\u017ee st\u00e1\u0165 e\u0161te poriadnu k\u00f4pku s\u013az!), <\/span><\/span><\/span>bude\u0161 slobodnej\u0161ia<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>, u\u017e sa nebude\u0161 b\u00e1\u0165 spomienok ani vec\u00ed, ktor\u00e9 ti ho pripom\u00ednaj\u00fa, ani jeho po\u010d\u00edta\u010da… Bude\u0161 znova <\/span><\/span><\/span>v\u010fa\u010dn\u00e1 <\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>za kr\u00e1sny \u017eivot, ktor\u00fd si s n\u00edm pre\u017eila.
\nPostupne sa pred tebou za\u010dne otv\u00e1ra\u0165 <\/span><\/span><\/span>V\u00ddH\u013dAD <\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>na \u010fal\u0161\u00ed kus tvojho \u017eivota. A ke\u010f si v\u0161imne\u0161, \u017ee tvoj z\u00e1rmutok postupne slabne \u2013 a t\u00fdm ti d\u00e1vam n\u00e1dej, \u017ee to nebude trva\u0165 ve\u013emi dlho \u2013, urob si <\/span><\/span><\/span>invent\u00faru<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span> svojich talentov, \u0161ikovnosti, sk\u00fasenost\u00ed a aj kontaktov s \u013eu\u010fmi a v\u00f4bec \u010fal\u0161\u00edch mo\u017enost\u00ed. Z toho sa potom pred tebou otvoria a uk\u00e1\u017eu nov\u00e9 obzory. Za\u010dne\u0161 vn\u00edma\u0165 potreby druh\u00fdch \u013eud\u00ed a aj pr\u00edle\u017eitosti k slu\u017ebe a k vlastn\u00e9mu uplatneniu.\u201c<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u013dudia okolo n\u00e1s sti\u0161ovali hovory a prech\u00e1dzali takmer po \u0161pi\u010dk\u00e1ch, preto\u017ee slzy n\u00e1s oboch sa u\u017e nedali utaji\u0165. A presne toto bolo podstatou m\u00f4jho posolstva pre Ginu: \u017de <\/span><\/span><\/span>M<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00d4<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u017dE<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span> plaka\u0165, ba dokonca, \u017ee M\u00c1 plaka\u0165 \u2013 lebo teraz je <\/span><\/span><\/span>\u010cAS PLAKA\u0164<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>.
\nNeverili by ste, ak\u00e1 osloboden\u00e9 sa c\u00edtila po na\u0161om rozhovore. Aspo\u0148 n\u00e1znakom porozumela, ak\u00e9 je to d\u00f4le\u017eit\u00e9 pre jej bud\u00facnos\u0165…<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Zd\u00e1 sa mi, \u017ee \u017eijeme v celkom dehumanizovan\u00fdch \u010dasoch. Ke\u010f sa niekde stane nehoda alebo \u00faraz, niektor\u00ed \u013eudia utekaj\u00fa pre\u010d. T\u00ed silnej\u0161\u00ed zastavia a volaj\u00fa profesion\u00e1lnu pomoc \u2013 a to je dobre! V\u00e4\u010d\u0161ina \u013eud\u00ed sa v\u0161ak vyh\u00fdba konfront\u00e1cii s \u00farazom, s krvou, s v\u00e1\u017enou chorobou, ale aj s postihnut\u00edm a e\u0161te viac so smr\u0165ou. \u013dudia <\/span><\/span><\/span>nevedia<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>, <\/span><\/span><\/span>ako sa maj\u00fa spr\u00e1va\u0165<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>, ako <\/span><\/span><\/span>pom\u00f4c\u0165<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Vyh\u00fdbame sa aj slz\u00e1m, preto\u017ee sa to pova\u017euje za znak slabosti \u2013 hlavne pri mu\u017eoch. Ale to v\u0161etko je predsa nevyhnutne s\u00fa\u010das\u0165ou \u013eudsk\u00e9ho \u017eivota!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Ak aj pr\u00e1ve teraz nie si v priamej konfront\u00e1cii s nejakou trag\u00e9diou, mo\u017eno si u\u017e stretol niekoho, kto pre\u017eil stratu bl\u00edzkeho \u010dloveka, ale ur\u010dite raz niekoho tak\u00e9ho stretne\u0161. Neod\u0165ahuj sa potom od neho, od \u010dloveka v z\u00e1rmutku. <\/span><\/span><\/span>Pla\u010d s n\u00edm<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>. Nepredstieraj, \u017ee v\u0161etko je alebo bude v pohode. Spolu s n\u00edm citlivo a v\u010fa\u010dne spom\u00ednaj na kr\u00e1su toho, \u010do pre\u017eili predt\u00fdm, aj ke\u010f u tak\u00e9ho spom\u00ednania mo\u017eno pr\u00eddu \u010fal\u0161ie a \u010fal\u0161ie slzy…
\n<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u013dudia, ktor\u00ed pr\u00e1ve prech\u00e1dzaj\u00fa takouto \u0165a\u017ekou udalos\u0165ou svojho \u017eivota, v\u00e4\u010d\u0161inou potrebuj\u00fa aj ve\u013emi konkr\u00e9tnu a <\/span><\/span><\/span>praktick\u00fa pomoc<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>. Niekedy a\u017e do tej miery, \u017ee je dobr\u00e9 s nimi chodi\u0165 niekam na <\/span><\/span><\/span>jedlo<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>, alebo im to jedlo prinies\u0165. Jednu osamel\u00fa pani, ktorej zomrel dospel\u00fd syn, sme si hne\u010f vzali na cel\u00fd t\u00fd\u017ede\u0148 k sebe domov \u2013 aby nebola sama. Starali sme sa o \u0148u a pom\u00e1hali jej zariadi\u0165 v\u0161etko potrebn\u00e9 okolo pohrebu… Zvl\u00e1\u0161tnym sp\u00f4sobom nast\u00e1vaj\u00fa bolestn\u00e9 situ\u00e1cie oby\u010dajne vtedy, ke\u010f treba triedi\u0165 veci po zosnulom. Pom\u00f4\u017ee\u0161 aj pri tom?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Ke\u010f postupne odznie \u010das ak\u00fatneho tr\u00fachlenia, pr\u00edde v\u00e1\u017ena ot\u00e1zka: <\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201e\u010c<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>o \u010falej?\u201c<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span> Pr\u00edde \u010das pozdvihn\u00fa\u0165 zrak a h\u013eada\u0165 \u010fal\u0161ie obzory v \u017eivote, \u010das <\/span><\/span><\/span>invent\u00fary<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span> talentu, \u0161ikovnosti, kontaktov a \u010fal\u0161\u00edch mo\u017enost\u00ed. \u010cas h\u013eadania <\/span><\/span><\/span>nov\u00fdch<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span> n\u00e1dej\u00ed…<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Ak\u00e9 bolo moje prekvapenie, ke\u010f som nejak\u00e9 tri-\u0161tyri mesiace po tej konferencii dostal od Giny mail s po\u010fakovan\u00edm a s pripojenou spr\u00e1vou o profesn\u00fdch aktivit\u00e1ch, do ktor\u00fdch sa medzit\u00fdm pustila. Ako jednu zo svojich hlavn\u00fdch \u010dinnost\u00ed tam mala \u0161kolenia, ktor\u00fdch s\u00fa\u010das\u0165ou je aj video z \u010dias, ke\u010f s \u0148ou predn\u00e1\u0161al aj jej man\u017eel… Po pre\u010d\u00edtan\u00ed tej spr\u00e1vy som ostal ako oparen\u00fd. Predt\u00fdm nechcela pracova\u0165 ani s po\u010d\u00edta\u010dom po svojom zosnulom man\u017eelovi a teraz \u013eu\u010fom premieta v\u00fdukov\u00e9 video, na ktorom on s\u00e1m predn\u00e1\u0161a! Neuverite\u013en\u00e9! Gina pre\u0161la obdob\u00edm svojho <\/span><\/span><\/span>\u017dIA\u013dU V\u00cd\u0164AZNE!<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span> A teraz m\u00f4\u017ee znova sl\u00fa\u017ei\u0165 \u010fal\u0161\u00edm \u013eu\u010fom svoj\u00edm vzdelan\u00edm, svojou praxou aj touto mimoriadne hlbokou sk\u00fasenos\u0165ou.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u013dudia, ktor\u00ed <\/span><\/span><\/span>spr\u00e1vne spracovali z\u00e1rmutok, <\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>b\u00fdvaj\u00fa bohat\u0161\u00ed, hlb\u0161\u00ed, soci\u00e1lne \u0161ikovnej\u0161\u00ed, empatickej\u0161\u00ed. A taktie\u017e zdravo emocion\u00e1lne odolnej\u0161\u00ed. Ke\u010f to dobre spracovali, maj\u00fa oby\u010dajne <\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00daPLNEJ\u0160\u00cd POH\u013dAD NA \u017dIVOT<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span>, na hodnoty a priority \u2013 lep\u0161ie teda rozli\u0161uj\u00fa na \u010dom naozaj z\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed a \u010do nie je podstatn\u00e9.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u013dudia ma v\u00e4\u010d\u0161inou poznaj\u00fa ako pozit\u00edvneho \u010dloveka. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>A viem aj z vlastnej sk\u00fasenosti, \u017ee spr\u00e1vne tr\u00fachlenie je pozit\u00edvna vec! Je ozdravuj\u00facim procesom, ktor\u00fd m\u00f4\u017ee prinies\u0165 slobodu a nov\u00fd v\u00fdh\u013ead na \u010fal\u0161\u00ed \u00fasek \u017eivota. Skuto\u010dne hlbok\u00fa rados\u0165 zo \u017eivota toti\u017e m\u00f4\u017eeme postavi\u0165 iba na hodnot\u00e1ch, ktor\u00e9 m\u00e1me nielen teraz a tu, ale ktor\u00e9 s nami prekro\u010dia prah smrti. Len s tak\u00fdmi hodnotami m\u00f4\u017eeme by\u0165 naozaj \u0161\u0165astn\u00ed, naplnen\u00ed a pokojn\u00ed.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

(P. Vopaleck\u00fd)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u013dudia, ktor\u00ed spr\u00e1vne spracuj\u00fa z\u00e1rmutok, s\u00fa potom\u00a0bohat\u0161\u00ed, hlb\u0161\u00ed, soci\u00e1lne \u0161ikovnej\u0161\u00ed, empatickej\u0161\u00ed, emocion\u00e1lne odolnej\u0161\u00ed a oby\u010dajne maj\u00fa pln\u0161\u00ed poh\u013ead na \u017eivot,\u00a0na hodnoty a priority \u2013 lep\u0161ie teda rozli\u0161uj\u00fa, na \u010dom naozaj z\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed a \u010do nie je podstatn\u00e9. Vieme v\u0161ak \u013eu\u010fom, ktor\u00ed pre\u017e\u00edvaj\u00fa z\u00e1rmutok zo straty bl\u00edzkeho \u010dloveka, nejako pom\u00f4c\u0165, aby svoj \u017eia\u013e dok\u00e1zali spr\u00e1vne spracova\u0165?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11,146,10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/btm.sk\/WP\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3419"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/btm.sk\/WP\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/btm.sk\/WP\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btm.sk\/WP\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btm.sk\/WP\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3419"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/btm.sk\/WP\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3419\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3420,"href":"https:\/\/btm.sk\/WP\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3419\/revisions\/3420"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/btm.sk\/WP\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3419"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btm.sk\/WP\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3419"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btm.sk\/WP\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3419"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}